Chyna Jade

My name is Chyna Jade, and you can't tell me that there's no such thing as a miracle. There's beauty in everything and I'm always looking for it. I'm always trying to keep busy but I make sure I rest, so that I have the strength to maintain my "busy bee" ways. I'm thankful every morning and sometimes nearly moved to tears because I can walk.

For a while, walking - or even leaving my wheelchair - seemed like a thing of the past. Halloween was right around the corner and after a beautiful fall day that felt like it couldn't get any better, I was hit by a car that destroyed my left leg. I remember trying to fall asleep in the ambulance. I wasn't in any pain and I couldn't feel anything. I was just anxious and embarrassed and I was ready to go home. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be going home for a really long time. It was a week after my 19th birthday and I was already "too old for this". My tibia had gone through a muscle and that's why I couldn't feel anything, until they had to straighten my leg from the way it was bent.

I had broken my tibia and fibula and had shattered everything in between. My parents were thousands of miles away and couldn't get away from work to come see me. I depended on the kindness of friends, nurses and my sisters Aysha and Lorin. The first thing I heard after being rushed into an operating room was that my leg was going to have to come off. I wanted to die and even asked the nurses not to resuscitate me. I thought my life was over and that this was how things were going to end for me. Then I was introduced to a new doctor. His deep blue eyes were all I could remember as the medication started to kick in and I felt myself drifting away into a drug induced slumber.

I woke up to all of my friends and my sister Lorin standing around my bed. The sad looks on their faces had assured me that my leg was gone. I slowly moved my hand down as far as the IV would let me and I felt a thick metal bar. I moved the covers and a bar was going through my leg in 2 directions. "They're gonna save your leg" a friend said sniffling, trying to hold back his own tears. The doctor walked in and explained that I was looking at an "external fixation" a device that may be used to keep fractured bones stabilized and in alignment. I had to wear it until my leg was ready to be operated on. There were tubes deep inside of both sides of my leg draining blood and a giant hunk of metal holding me down, and all I could do was smile because my leg was still attached. Even if it was just barely.

It wasn't all hope and visits though. Some days I'd spend the entire day just staring at the ceiling. It was the holiday season and winter was starting early, so the snowstorms made it hard for visitors. I'd weep quietly when the family members of the patient on the opposite side of the curtain would come visit. They would ask "Where are her parents?" Or say things like "Poor girl". A nurse saw me crying one day and I told her that I missed my mom. I just wanted my mom to be there with me. The next morning, she came into my room with a bag of clothes she had purchased just for me. "Now you don't have to wear that hospital gown everyday" She said smiling. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Months went by and I went from bedridden, to a wheelchair. The inside of my leg was replaced with rods and screws. I was in the wheelchair for a while and stayed in the hospital so that I could get to physical therapy. With the help of some amazing physical therapists, I moved to crutches, then a cane. I sold all of my clothes online to make money because I couldn't work and later used some of it to buy new clothes. A year later, I started a new job and took my cane to work with me every day. I wanted to look cool, so I'd leave it in my locker and limp. I didn't know what kind of life I was supposed to be living, I just knew that I couldn't afford to slow down. I remember getting on the bus with my crutches or my cane and just being disappointed because no one would ever offer their seat up.

Another year has gone by and now I'm walking without a cane or crutches. I can walk without limping but I can't run, jog or jump - yet. I still see my surgeon 2 to 3 times a year for X-rays to see how my leg is healing and to see how the metal is holding up. It might have to come out one day, but we'll see. Right now, I'm just happy with every step I get to take. I'm happy that I can dress myself, walk to the bathroom, brush my teeth and go outside. I feel like I was given a second chance at life. Learning how to walk again was hard, but it was like a new beginning. I was reborn and I'm counting all of my blessings. I love my scars because they scream "WHAT ELSE YA GOT?" at the world. Sometimes we wish for things that we may deep down believe are far out of our reach. Anything is possible. So let us raise our glasses and make a toast to the wishes we wish would come true.